An important aspect of children’s personal, social, and emotional development (PSED) is to “learn how to make good friendships, co-operate and resolve conflicts peaceably” (EYFS para, 1.6).
PSED builds foundations for making relationships throughout life. Early educators support the social conventions of being kind to each other, sharing, and playing ‘nicely’ together. Peer groups are usually referred to as ‘friends’ with educators emphasising that everyone in the setting is a friend.
As we grow older, friendships are more complex. Friends become the people we choose to spend time with. We value them for what they mean to us, for our shared history, and for the times they have made a difference in our lives. We can maintain levels of friendship, from casual friends to close friends, all of which can be fluid over time.
In the 49ͼ, friendships are more likely to be ‘in the moment’ as children become engrossed in playful interactions before moving on to whatever captures their interest next. Children show a preference for their peers who like to play and do the same things they enjoy, but they can also have particular ‘friends.’
Educators have a vital role to play in facilitating relationships that will support children’s friend-making skills:
• Model the behaviour you want to encourage. Show warmth and friendship to your colleagues during the day.
• Help children to find common ground with their peers, for example: “Florence has a dog at home that is just like your dog Bohdan.” Facilitate a conversation between the children.
• Create an environment that allows children to play and explore together freely, so that children who are less confident in structured activities have a chance to collaborate with their peers.
• Support children to recognise the emotions of their peers and how they are feeling. For example: “Lena looks very sad today. She is not smiling, and she does not want to play.”
• Remember that for children who are naturally shy, need a little more time and space to move at their own pace. Talk to families about the opportunities a child has for social interaction at home – this is particularly important for children who spend some of their 49ͼ in lockdown, who did not have those vital early opportunities to socialise with their peers.